Rd

Bye blogspot

2011-02-12T15:37:00.000-08:00

I think this time, I'm solid on my move: raydemesa.tumblr.com
Please join me there!

Sarah black and white with strobes

2011-02-10T19:57:00.001-08:00

I need to be more proud of my work. Sometimes and a lot of times I feel really insecure about the level where I'm at, so I devalue my photos as blah and unworthy of being seen. I want to get over this! Hopefully, I will be more awesome about feeling awesome enough. This was my first venture into using strobes in the studio, and Sarah is so gorgeous.

still living

2011-01-07T21:58:00.001-08:00

2010 was rough. moving on!

nick. portraits.

2010-09-23T23:03:00.001-07:00

So yeah, I'm taking photo classes again! Yes. It's pretty sweet. I've missed the dark room so much and also very much missed the unique scent of photographic chemicals. Slash that funky smell stays on your clothes, man. Slash it's been a few years since I'd been in the dark room, developing and printing photos, so I'd almost completely forgotten the process. I was probably kind of really annoying the first day, asking a million questions to anyone nearby, but I totally get the hang of it now once again. Anyway, this is the first assignment I completed just a few days ago for my black and white portraiture class. For this assignment, we were to do faceless portraits of someone who's no longer in our lives. So, I chose to photograph Nick, who technically is still in my life (forever!), but he is so not in my life right now because he left LA last month for Berkeley. So now he is not in my life and gets to be showcased in this assignment. Nick likes the bubbles.

la v. ny

2010-09-11T10:24:00.001-07:00

fyf fest '10

just another music fest at the williamsburg waterfront '10

jackie, la

2010-09-08T11:22:00.001-07:00

giulia, ny

2010-09-01T21:44:00.001-07:00

sailor venus

2010-08-19T18:01:00.001-07:00

blast!

christine, silver lake

2010-08-15T18:10:00.001-07:00

airships, san francisco

2010-08-07T15:28:00.001-07:00

nick, berkeley

2010-08-03T17:41:00.001-07:00

helen, glassell park

2010-08-02T19:46:00.001-07:00

señor garcia, angeles national forest, 2010

2010-07-09T18:49:00.001-07:00

shortcut

2010-06-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

Shortcut from Ray de Mesa on Vimeo.

help

2010-06-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

Help from Ray de Mesa on Vimeo.

señor garcia, eagle rock, pre-pride 2010

2010-06-15T20:47:00.001-07:00

Some old gentleman, shedding off his sobriety, experimenting with taste.

summer in my mind

2010-04-29T23:02:00.001-07:00

Tide Pools, Crystal Cove

2010-03-20T23:17:00.001-07:00

From the set: Crystal Cove Tide Pools

Accidentally with Lisa Loeb, NY

2010-03-20T22:25:00.001-07:00

Lisa Loeb and her accidental photographer dork: http://www.flickr.com/photos/raydemesa/4449205091/

Phylis for Vic: Photograph 6

2010-03-15T23:15:00.001-07:00

From Phylis for Vic: a melodramatic ending in 7 photographs

Phylis for Vic: Photograph 4

2010-03-14T22:14:00.001-07:00

From Phylis for Vic: a melodramatic ending in 7 photographs

PAUSE.

2010-02-14T14:09:00.000-08:00

In limbo. Please hold while I make up my mind.
XXO,
Ray

alexa, brooklyn

2010-01-07T18:27:00.001-08:00

Revisiting old faves. My camera feels so neglected right now. Alexa dancing with her bicycle. En route in Brooklyn below. Sigh, I miss the city sometimes. Like now.

kevy and andy, vasquez rocks

2010-01-03T00:07:00.001-08:00

sea/escape, zuma beach

2009-12-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

As the rain lulled me to sleep last night, for some reason I kept wondering what the beach looked like in this drippy weather. So when I woke up this morning and found that it was still raining, I happily declined my mom's invite to a church outing, grabbed some necessities, and drove off to the coast.

The horizon was so beautiful. Dark hues of blue and green, various shades of gray. I kept staring at the middle part, where the sky and the ocean appeared indistinguishable at first. And then the rain paused for a minute and a shockingly bright line of sun sliced the horizon, clearly defining the border between the sky and the water.

Then the sky started to cry once again, and I suddenly realized how surprisingly calm I felt. As Sigur Rós and José González serenaded me on repeat, as the downpour intensified, and as the sweeping gray swallowed the world, I was struck by the complete absence of sadness. As if the natural human reaction to this moment, this scene was to feel melancholy--and yet I was drenched by a calm. A potent tranquility. It was unexpected and elegant.

I get in these moods once in a while, where I just want to escape, get me out of my head, be alone. As I got ready to share these images though, I started thinking about how ridiculous I (and many people I know) can be. I mean, it seems like a strange contradiction to desire and experience solitude and then simultaneously feel the need to share your solitude once it's over. I mean, have you ever experienced pure solitude? The kind that completely empties your mind? The kind that obliterates any pressure and thoughts of recounting the experience to your friends? The kind that, once it's over, you want to keep a secret, not because you're ashamed that you were alone, but because you know that once you share your experience, it loses its specialness, its value somehow? Rarely for me. I'm often drawn to share. But anyway, pure solitude is great.

I'm gonna be in this mood for a little while longer, and if you feel the same, let's listen to Karen O and the Kids together.
http://hypem.com/track/936274/Karen+O+and+the+Kids+-+Hideaway

sarah

2009-12-07T09:26:00.001-08:00

I'm stoked about shooting Sarah. She and I have gone through so much together already, from stressing over running the high school newspaper to running away to New York to giving Los Angeles another chance. And we're still in collabo! She is so talented, and I am so incredibly proud of her, and please check out her design company Million Million Monkeys.

december 2009 update

2009-12-02T16:41:00.001-08:00

Oh Hi, World!

I realized that this blog has been dead for over a month, so I just wanted to reassure you guys that I am alive and still trying to maintain a sort of, um, photographic momentum. On top of working on my new project, I have been crazy busy driving all over the monstrosity that is Los Angeles, looking for a job. So, the project won't be cruising for a while, unfortunately. But I still feel really great and inspired about it, and it will definitely be one of those long-term, neverending personal endeavors. Or something.

Some great news though: I've decided to join my beautifully talented friend Sarah and her design company Million Million Monkeys! Check out the site and follow her on Twitter. Sarah is an amazing graphic designer, writer, model, friend, etc, etc, and I am insanely psyched to pitch my work to her. On my side of the collaboration, things are definitely on the production stage, i.e., portfolio building stage, i.e., where are all the models!

For now, this blog will be on the quiet side, as I jumpstart and collect. However, do not sadface if you miss me, as you can always follow where inspiration takes me on my tumblr! Follow and enjoy.

new project!

2009-10-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! An idea for a project popped into my head last night! I think it will be super fun and enlightening! Let me know if you want to be involved in the project, i.e., if you want to be photographed. It will involve you sharing with me two intimate places. You can contact me here or via email. Ahh I'm caffeinated and excited.

phoebe's, williamsburg

2009-10-24T15:10:00.001-07:00

my bedroom, williamsburg

2009-10-24T15:09:00.001-07:00

kevin, hermosa beach

2009-10-24T14:59:00.001-07:00

kevin & andrew, vasquez rocks

2009-10-23T16:12:00.001-07:00

special k, vasquez rocks

2009-10-23T16:10:00.001-07:00

andrew & kevin, vasquez rocks

2009-10-23T16:09:00.001-07:00

self 102309

2009-10-23T16:06:00.001-07:00

mona, red rock canyon

2009-10-11T23:45:00.001-07:00

jessica, san clemente

2009-10-11T17:03:00.001-07:00

kevin, koreatown

2009-10-11T17:00:00.001-07:00

jackie & paul, williamsburg

2009-10-11T16:57:00.001-07:00

drew-b, east village

2009-10-11T16:50:00.001-07:00

sharebear, williamsburg

2009-10-11T16:48:00.001-07:00

nick & noah, san francisco

2009-10-08T00:19:00.001-07:00

kevin, vasquez rocks

2009-10-08T00:18:00.003-07:00

jan, griffith park

2009-10-08T00:18:00.001-07:00

noah, san francisco

2009-10-08T00:12:00.001-07:00

hello!

2009-10-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

I'm back.

princess says o haiii!!

2009-09-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

I don't think you guys have met Princess, my princess. She says hello!

tumblray

2009-03-25T21:13:00.002-07:00

hi guys! i think i'm gonna move to tumblr. follow me there. kbai!

know your meme: FAIL

2009-03-25T18:30:00.002-07:00

Internet scientist (and my freshman year RA) Jamiedubs enlightens about the history and proper use of FAIL. This lesson is rly a not-a-FAIL, aka a WIN. orly? yarly!

Drinkers’ red face may signal cancer risk

2009-03-25T14:55:00.003-07:00

This new finding is a major buzzkill. Read the New York Times article here.

This article kinda sucks for putting a very crucial information at the end of the story:

There is also a patch test in which an ethanol-soaked pad is applied to the skin. If it causes reddening after 10 or 15 minutes, there is a high likelihood that the person is ALDH2-deficient.

You're more at risk if you have this deficiency.

I'm not a heavy drinker, and I don't think I get the Asian glow, but note to self: do this patch test just in case.

wisdom picasso

2009-03-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

Via jackcheng.

sigur rós - með suð Í eyrum

2009-03-23T09:53:00.005-07:00

Sigur Rós performs in a French cafe.

Sweet song. I love the oblivious French customers in the background, fronting indifference to Icelandic music. They are fans for real I bet.

old me

2009-03-22T18:54:00.003-07:00

Via creampuff.

holy soap fail

2009-03-22T11:46:00.003-07:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

Sacrilege? Virgin Mary irony? Or does it totally make sense? Do Virgin Mary dildos exist to promote abstinence? Is the Pope behind it all?

m.i.a. mom

2009-03-22T08:53:00.004-07:00

M.I.A. had her baby Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman. Imagine if M.I.A. was your mom, and she raised you. I can see her now, teaching her ball of hipster joyness how to vocalize. She's all, "Alright, Ikhyd. Refugee Education Number One. Here we go! Banana: BA-NA-NA. Say it again now!"

Get yourself an education! I want a hipster mom.

cappadocia

2009-03-21T17:10:00.004-07:00

Note to self: go to Cappadocia, Turkey and ride an air balloon. Before I die.

Photos from Krystyna P.

kalimantan, indonesia

2009-03-21T17:03:00.003-07:00

Kalimantan 12 : Indonesia, originally uploaded by basyeban.

this is why you're fat

2009-03-21T12:49:00.003-07:00

DOT COM! My new favorite blog. Yumz.

"The Loco Moco
A bed of rice topped with a large burger patty topped with a fried egg covered in brown gravy."

This will surely make you poo. And speaking of poo...

alpacas inspired by... alpacas!

2009-03-21T10:14:00.011-07:00

coca-cola the alpaca!, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

We had the most amazing spring break! Last weekend, we visited Skyeview Alpacas, an alpaca farm in New Hampshire, run by the nicest couple Jim and Sue King. Jim has a Harvard MBA and Sue can weave a sweater immediately/directly from an Angora rabbit. OMW, they had Angora rabbits! While discussing alpaca life with Sue, she goes, "Everything we have here have long hairs--these alpacas, our dogs, the Angora rabbits..." And we were all, "WTF@#$%^& you have Angora rabbits, too?!" So we got to pet the Anogora rabbits, and we tried to pet the alpacas, but most of them wouldn't let us. They are very quiet creatures and usually will not remain too close to you unless you have nomnoms. Random trivia: baby alpacas are called crias!

cleopatra!, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

This is Cleopatra. She is one of Jim and Ellen's first alpacas. Back then, they were newbies and didn't really know how to shear. The end result is Cleopatra's amazing haircut. She was so cute, they just decided to leave it. P.S. We rechristened her Cleopatra. I forget what her real name is, but if it's not Cleopatra, then why the fuck not.

the lone llama, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

"I'm an alpaca!"
"No... you're not..."

Angora rabbit!, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

Sue King with one of her precious English Angora rabbits.

-->SEE THE REST OF THE PHOTOS FROM OUR TRIP HERE.

Since we haven't recognized an Amazing Animal of the Week in a while, we'll just give this one to the alpaca!

lost generation

2009-03-20T17:19:00.001-07:00

Pretty good. Watch all the way.

poo poll

2009-03-20T14:47:00.004-07:00

Today, after going to the bathroom, I wondered about people's habits after going number two. I'm really curious. Really. Please be honest. I assure you: this is secret voting.

Online Surveys & Market Research

Click here to vote on other polls.

the sorcerer's apprentice

2009-03-20T10:58:00.008-07:00

The now-all-too familiar trailers, trucks, and other movie set equipment that planted themselves around NYU's campus a few days ago sparked enough curiosity in me today to ask one of the crew members what movie they're filming.

"Excuse me, would you happen to know what movie they're filming here?"

"Yes, I do!"

"[Waiting for him to tell me] Oh. Are you allowed to say?"

"Yes, I am!"

"[Waiting for him to tell me] Um, can you please tell me what it is?"

"Yes, I can!"

He then finally revealed that it's Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice, starring Nicholas Cage as the sorcerer and Jay Baruchel as the apprentice. Remember Fantasia? That part with Mickey in a sorcerer's gown and all the bewitched brooms? Well, they're creating a whole film from that one segment. Cool. Apparently they're only filming here until tomorrow. I asked him where they're filming next and he got all serious and was like, "I'm not at liberty to say." He was really nice.

william arthur ward

2009-03-19T13:33:00.001-07:00

When we seek to discover the best in others,
we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.
- William Arthur Ward

matriarch

2009-03-19T13:16:00.003-07:00

amish, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

I stole a shot during Michael's shoot of this crazy couple. A while ago. Michael's photos never came out. Something happened with his film. I feel kinda bad that I have photos and it wasn't even my shoot. Sorry Mike.

love is the answer

2009-03-19T12:02:00.003-07:00

No doubt. Street art by Mr. Brainwash. If you like pressing buttons, you will love his site.

extreme spelling fail

2009-03-19T11:21:00.002-07:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

Shoulda stayed in sko0L.

Also, do my polls! Also, I will try to remember to post my alpaca fest fotos. Tonight. Maybe.

person i will spend the rest of my life with polls

2009-03-17T13:50:00.004-07:00

Online Surveys & Market Research

Click here to vote on other polls.

screen cleaner

2009-03-16T13:37:00.002-07:00

So cute. Click here to hire the cutest screen cleaner.

Thanks Jack.

back and refreshed from alpaca madness

2009-03-15T21:33:00.003-07:00

Hey, I just got back from a crazy weekend of alpaca madness, food happiness, and general great vacation awesomeness. I'm a little tired, but I should have photos developed by tomorrow. Technically my spring break starts tomorrow, but I have to work to maintain bank. But this weekend was so great, I don't even mind that I'm working for the rest of the week. K, night. P.S. Do my coffee poll please! You know you want to.

coffee poll

2009-03-13T12:08:00.002-07:00

This is the first of many harmless polls that I will pose your way. Please indulge my curiosity and vote! K thanks!

Online Surveys & Market Research

fun on the job

2009-03-12T21:28:00.001-07:00

fun on the job, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

Dances with Julia.

palin's daughter and boo break up

2009-03-12T13:30:00.003-07:00

I'm sure you've heard the most shockingly news breaking of all the breaking news out there: Bristol Palin and Levi have broken up and are obv no longer set to wed. And how sweet of Time to put together this nice little photoessay to help us look back at the doomed affair. I wonder if Sarah Palin had anything to do with this tragedy. I bet she did her fair share of bribing too to get him to sit his ass back down. But alask, Levi is worth more than Sarah Palin's Alaskan real estate and he has peaced the fuck out.

posing beauty

2009-03-12T12:47:00.005-07:00

Last night, JYoon and I went to an awesome presentation by Deborah Willis called Posing Beauty. Dr. Willis is the Chair of the Photography and Imaging Department here at NYU and achieved all kinds of crazy recognition, e.g., one of the nation's leading historians of African American photography, named among the 100 Most Important People in Photography by American Photography Magazine, etc., etc.

Her presentation included photographs of African American beauty through the years, and these were some of my favorites.

Her upcoming book, Posing Beauty, will be released soon sometime this year. It will include these and many more photographs.

Roland Martin's opinions matter

2009-03-11T11:33:00.005-07:00

In response to Martin's commentary, Obama, Dems wrong to kill school vouchers

Amazing. Roland Martin is the best watchdog for the people against government stupidity. He makes a very convincing point about the hypocrisy of Obama and politicians sending their kids to private schools while denying other parents the opportunity to do so. If the children of Obama and other politicians have access to private schools, then all children should as well.

Further props to Martin: how can we increase our confidence in the troubled public school system when the people trying to fix it don't have confidence in it themselves? Brilliant. Hey, Obama, maybe your girls would enjoy public school?

fuck guns

2009-03-11T09:47:00.007-07:00

I feel completely overwhelmed by all these news reports on shootings this morning. I had to take off happy music from my ears, I felt so sick.

From the shooting in Germany:

"The pistol used in the killing was part of the father's collection, authorities said. German gun laws are fairly restrictive and require owners to control access to them.

Rech said the guns were legally owned by Kretschmer's father who is a member of a gun club."

The boy's father is a gun collector. Of course. Why are people still not getting it? If you own guns in your house, you are making them dangerously easily accessible for your troubled kids to take them and kill other people's families.

The only people gun owners need protection from are themselves. By owning guns, you are putting yourself and others around you in more, not less, danger. Gun owners can kiss my ass. And all guns should be obliterated from the world.

merriweather post pavilion

2009-03-10T12:24:00.004-07:00

Happiness is listening to Animal Collective's new album. And looking at the cover.

little filipino boy dancers, potential gays

2009-03-10T12:06:00.004-07:00

People are so quick to label these Filipino chicos as gaylings. Just because they dance better than Beyonce and they're, like, five years old and boys? Filipinos like to dance, what? They are pretty amazing and maybe they will grow up to be dancing men who like other men.

P.S. Note: Their faces are blurred. Hmm.

i am motivated to be this state often

2009-03-08T14:41:00.002-07:00

couples, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

clorox commercials

2009-03-08T14:37:00.001-07:00

Ok these are the best. I'm so obsessed I bought the album on iTunes.

winter break

2009-02-26T14:05:00.002-08:00

las vegas, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

From Las Vegas, hiking with cute little sister.

hbd josc / omg wolverine

2009-02-21T11:49:00.002-08:00

DSC00517, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

This girl has the best mommy ever. Patty, if you're reading this, I love you forever. When I find my buddy-slave, you'll be the first to meet him/her.

P.S. How much am I excited for this.

play with jb

2009-02-17T08:42:00.003-08:00

play with jb, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

I finally got my rolls developed. These are from last weekend, kicking it with JB in the studio and around Bk. She cool.

More photos here.

saddlebacking

2009-02-04T12:11:00.004-08:00

Sex columnist Dan Savage had readers vote for their fav definition for "saddlebacking" as a tribute to homophobic homophile and senior pastor of the Saddleback Church, Rick Warren. And my fav won!

beans and motivation

2009-02-02T10:26:00.005-08:00

Let's see. Currently I am eating bean tacos from that Tex-Mex place. I've been eating a lot of beans lately. I had black beans with rice and cheddar last night. I don't think my increase in bean consumption is in any way an explicit intention to compensate for my lack of protein intake as a consequence of removing vegetables from my diet. I think it just tastes good. At least I don't have to worry about that nutrional aspect. But maybe it's not so fun on the bathroom side of things if you catch my drift.

Anyway, I'm now at work, eating my beans. Just got out of Gollwitzer's class, Psychology of Action. I decided to just audit his class. After that whole drama. I can't even get into it. Basically, I was pushing for being officially registered in his class even though I don't need the course to graduate. But I really wanted to be in his class because, as previously established, he is amazing, and this is probably my last and only opportunity to have him as my teacher. Anyway, the problem was that my mother was opposed to me being registered for a class that's not required to graduate because we are broke, and taking on more credits than we can afford is just pretty painful for her wallet. Not completely comprehending the financial limits currently plaguing us (and a lot of Americans, or maybe everyone around the world, at the moment), I tried really hard to get that money, i.e., applying for loans and shit. But nobody would give us money because apparently this economy is in shit at the moment. Anyway, after stupid drama with my mom and entertaining ideas of sticking around in the summer to take required courses when perhaps I will have the funds to pay for them, I finally gave up and decided that I would just audit the class. Of course, before embarking on my frustrating relentless quest to be registered for the class, I knew that auditing was always an option. Back then it was hard for me to confront my real intentions of wanting to be registered in the class. I just rationalized that it was better because official is better than unofficial. Having "Psychology of Action" and "Gollwitzer" on my transcript would be so amazing, I thought, because it would give me legit bragging rights (mostly to grad schools and perhaps to an occasional acquaintance who's in the know about social cognitive and motivational psychology. Or Germany (Gollwitzer's German)). Also, the thought of taking a class and working really hard and not having my A accounted for in my GPA was excruciatingly frustrating to think about. That's why I went through all the trouble, stressing out my mom, stressing myself out, trying to find a solution to this problem. Because I really thought it was worth it. Then in the end, when I finally realized that there is no money, when my mother's arguments finally sunk in, when I finally realized that I was okay with not having official bragging rights, that what really mattered was having this experience and having this man as my mentor and learning what this man has to teach, regardless of the lack of official documentation, I left the Registrar's Office, de-registered from Gollwitzer's class, and sent him an e-mail asking him if I could audit his class. And of course being the great man that he is, he said yes.

Now I'm over it. I've accepted it. And I'm quietly congratulating myself for achieving this kind of intrinsic motivation to learn. I just hope it lasts.

book culture, ny

2009-01-24T16:42:00.003-08:00

book culture, ny, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

I finally cleaned my lens. Days after I shot this. I suck at maintenance.

gollwitzer

2009-01-22T14:48:00.004-08:00

I just ran into Peter Gollwitzer, the creator of implementation intentions. He is a rock star in the field of social psychology and he was going to be my professor. But I had to drop his class because NYU's a greedy-ass institution, and I'm broke. I just kind of watched him as he walked right past me, dreaming about what could've been. How creepster/sad is that.

r.i.p. indie 103.1 fm, my hero

2009-01-19T14:48:00.006-08:00

Indie 103.1 has left radio waves. This is pretty fucked. Nonetheless, I support their decision based on their reasoning:

"Because of changes in the radio industry and the way radio audiences are measured, stations in this market are being forced to play too much Britney, Puffy and alternative music that is neither new nor cutting edge. Due to these challenges, Indie 103.1 was recently faced with only one option --- to play the corporate radio game.

We have decided not to play that game any longer. Rather than changing the sound, spirit, and soul of what has made Indie 103.1 great Indie 103.1 will bid farewell to the terrestrial airwaves and take an alternative course."

Alternative course = WWW. Does this mean I have to now sign up for On-the-Go Internet so that I can still enjoy eargastic pleasures while perusing the streets of LA WTF, LA. But so much respect for their decision to stand up to the high-seated fuckers. Fuck corporate America. Damn the man! I am sad.

people are bad, man.

2009-01-19T13:29:00.002-08:00

People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad, man. - Chris Rock

You know, if you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money. That's it. I mean, it's like, what did Clinton do? We were at peace and we had a budget surplus. That's it. That's the gig. The closer you get us to those two goals, you know, that's pretty much the gig. Is that too much to ask for? - Chris Rock

las vegas

2009-01-11T15:22:00.005-08:00

las vegas, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

Click here to see the entire series.

vanishing point

2009-01-08T22:19:00.008-08:00

Janet Biggs: Vanishing Point Jan 8th, 2009 to Feb 7th, 2009
Where: Claire Oliver Gallery 513 West 26th Street, New York, NY 10001

Nootella and I went to the opening of Janet Biggs's exhibit tonight, and it was amazing! Her work is psychological, which is, duh, the best kind of photography. She has three large color prints of the Utah salt flats. Her video (Vanishing Point) is also featured. It juxtaposes Leslie Porterfield breaking the world record for the speediest motorcycle ride and Harlem's Addicts Rehabilitation Center Gospel Choir performing a song written specifically for the video. More eloquent than I: her work "examines the struggle to maintain one's identity, the roll of those who witness that identity vanishing, and a search for freedom that can end in destruction or transcendence." Sweet.

It's all about trying to establish a sense of self amid/after all the crazy ridiculous decision-making that happens in life and self-revival whenever decisions lead you to dangerously lonely places. She put so much work and thought into this project and it really shows.

Dang, this stuff may be corny to some people, but I fucking love it so hard. Janet Biggs is my hero. She was standing, like, an inch away from me talking to her friends and admirers, and I wanted to say hi and congratulate her and proclaim my love for her, but I was too weak. Dang. I wish I were braver.

my new identity

2009-01-01T12:00:00.004-08:00

It's the first day of 2009 and the first day of my new life! Yes. Among many things, I am giving up meat. Not quite all meat, though. Life without sushi just doesn't seem right. So I guess that makes me a pescetarian. You know, just to be able to say, "I'm a pescetarian" in casual conversation is plenty motivating to maintain this diet.

It's only Day 1, and my New Year's Resolution is already giving me shit. My parents made meatballs. I want them. I don't want them. This is gonna be hard.

kin-ness cuteness

2008-12-31T12:31:00.009-08:00

My cousin is so cute! He looks like me when I was his age. Teehee. He and his family sent me pics of the kiddiez in a holiday e-card. E-cards is still a strange 21st century concept to me, but I'm gradually getting used to it. I have yet to send my own though.

Only a few more hours before 2009! Omg.

i'm a sucker for inspirational quotes

2008-12-26T22:47:00.002-08:00

While waiting for my Strawberry Whirl, I was checking out some of the stuff on shelf display in Jamba Juice and almost bought this book. But then I remembered how broke I was and that my check still hadn't arrived (I should really sign up for Direct Deposit), so I didn't. Instead I wrote down the quotes that I loved so much, as I sipped on my Jamba. Yeah, it was a pretty amazing and hopeful moment. Hopefully, I didn't break any copyright laws or anything. Anyway, I was so moved that I feel compelled to share them. Here they are in no particular ranking:

My fave: "If you risk nothing, then you risk everything."
- Geena Davis (Sweet.)

"There is more in us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less."
- Kurt Hahn

"If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done."
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

"Is the life I'm living the life that wants to live in me?"
- Parker Palmer

"We know what we are, but we know not what we may be."
- William Shakespeare. I half disagree with Shakespeare on this one. I do agree that we don't really know who we could be in the future, but I don't think most people know who they are in the present.

"Reach out and open the door that no one thought could be opened. Life is behind it."
- Kelly Ann Rothaus

I just Googled Kelly Ann Rothaus and discovered another one of her awesome quotes: "If you don’t have all the things you want, be grateful for all the things you don’t have that you didn’t want."

Amazing. Don't you just feel so hopeful and inspired after reading that? Yes.

obsessed: cliquot

2008-12-26T19:42:00.001-08:00

I am obsessed.

no xmas shoppings frm me dis yr; i iz broken.

2008-12-24T13:31:00.003-08:00

iz no needing 4 gift rappingz. or plastik baggz!

happy holidayz.

i love you let's shout it out

2008-12-22T13:54:00.006-08:00

Currently sipping coffee at Swork, obsessively listening to Princeton, and mourning that I cannot go to their show on the 27th because I will be stuck in wackcity Las Vegas. You should go for me, whoever you are in LA. They have so much greatness. Sounds like a sweet mishmash of Belle & Sebastian and Vampire Weekend, indeed.

Take a listen: http://www.myspace.com/princetonmusic
Buy ($8, so delicious): http://www.clubspaceland.com/2008/12/03/saturday-122708-princeton/

Last night, I had a long catchup sesh with E and Special K in Aroma Cafe, while feeding on a deliciously spicy Tofu Rice Bowl. Then another long catchup with Andrew at Andrew's, getting nice and happy on Shiraz and baquette.

Weather is crappy and gloomy in the LA.

r.i.p. nyac

2008-12-21T14:05:00.002-08:00

Nyac: famous holding-hand otter dies

Nyac is supposedly a famous Web sensataion, but I didn't even know about this amazing sea otter until I saw a bit on Animal Planet on my plane ride to Vegas. So much cuteness and sadness.

The original.

bringing back the quagga

2008-12-14T13:20:00.006-08:00

Photo courtesy of F. York, London, Regent's Park Zoo, 1870

Currently studying for my genetics final in Bobst. I ran across something interesting about the quagga, a zebralike African animal that was hunted to extinction in the late 19th century. The quagga was the first extinct creature to have its DNA studied (Wik). The only quagga to have ever been photographed alive was a mare at the Zoological Society of London's Zoo in Regent's Park in 1870. That quagga up there, I guess. How sad. Look how sad it looks. It just knows the bleek fate its family will eventually meet. I feel so sad for the quagga. They're awesome and cute. How much people really suck sometimes.

More info on the quagga:

The quagga is an extinct subspecies of the Plains zebra, which was once found in great numbers in South Africa's Cape Province and the southern part of the Orange Free State. It was distinguished from other zebras by having the usual vivid marks on the front part of the body only. In the mid-section, the stripes faded and the dark, inter-stripe spaces became wider, and the rear parts were a plain brown. The name comes from a Khoikhoi word for zebra and is onomatopoeic, being said to resemble the quagga's call (Wik).

Aw. "Khoikhoi!" said the quagga. Haha. Sadface. In memory of the quagga, I encourage people to greet others with "Khoikhoi." Oh hi.

How some very nice, non-sucky people are bringing back the quagga:

After the very close relationship between the quagga and surviving zebras was discovered, the Quagga Project was started by Reinhold Rau in South Africa to recreate the quagga by selective breeding from plains zebra stock, with the eventual aim of reintroducing them to the wild. This type of breeding is also called breeding back. In early 2006, it was reported that the third and fourth generations of the project have produced animals which look very much like the depictions and preserved specimens of the quagga, though whether looks alone are enough to declare that this project has produced a true "re-creation" of the original quagga is controversial. DNA from mounted specimens was successfully extracted in 1984, but the technology to use recovered DNA for breeding does not yet exist (Wik).

opening thank yous

2008-12-13T00:42:00.005-08:00

Thank you again to all you guys who came to the opening! I'm so exhausted. I came back very tipsy from all the wine and just crashed on my bed once I got home. But it felt so nice to wake up from my 9PM nap and catch up on Survivor. Thanks again to you guys who agreed to be in my series and shared the happiness. It was good times.

omgjupiter!venus!

2008-12-01T23:18:00.004-08:00

omgjupiter&venus1, originally uploaded by raydemesa.

Jupiter and Venus came to New York too! So cool. See post below for mindless reflections on astronomy.